What did the coffee say to their date? Hey there, hot stuff!

What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.

What’s a barista’s favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.

What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee? – A mugging!

How is divorce like an Espresso? – It’s expensive and bitter.

What do gossiping pots do? Spill the beans.

How did the hipster burn their tongue? – They drank their coffee before it was cool.

What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? – De-calf-inated.

What is a bean’s favorite thing to eat on Thanksgiving? Roast.

Why did the kangaroo stop drinking his cup of coffee? It made him too jumpy.

What did the two coffee enthusiasts say when they got married? We’re meant to bean together!

​What’s the opposite of coffee? Sneezy.What’s a coffee’s favorite spell? Espresso Patronum!

Thanks a latte for me being my friend.

You mocha me very happy.

You warm my heart.

She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.

What’s a coffee’s favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot!

I didn’t choose the mug life, the mug life chose me.

I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.

What’s a barista’s favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind!

What did the coffees say before their night out? Let’s stir up some trouble!

What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy!

How are coffee beans like teenagers? – They are always getting grounded. 

Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me.

How does an IT guy drink coffee? He installs Java.

What do you call two coffee mugs sitting next together? A happy cup-ple.

“Wake me up before you cocoa!”

Why did it take the bean so long to do its homework? Because it was procaffeinating.

What do beans say to their Valentines? You keep me grounded.