Funny Virus Jokes & Sayings

What’s a virus’s favorite type of story? A contagious tale.

Why did everyone like the new virus? It was going viral.

Why do viruses make good DJs? They always drop something catchy!

Why was the virus so good at basketball? It always goes viral.

Why did the archaeologist check his computer for viruses? He didn’t want it to become a mummy.

I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me flu shots.

You know you’re a virus if you make cells sick of your presence.

Why couldn’t the virus play cards? Because it was always on the table.

Why did the virus go to art school? It wanted to become more cultured.

Why don’t viruses ever get lonely? Because they always come in a host.

Why did the cell get a phone? To avoid catching the virus in person.

Did you hear about the virus that went to school? It wanted to improve its circulation.

Why was the virus a great musician? Because it had sick beats.

Why did the virus get into trouble at school? It kept spreading rumors.

What did the virus say to the molecule? “I’ve got my ion you!”

Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open and got a virus.

Did you hear the joke about the virus? Never mind, I don’t want to spread it.

Why was the computer so good at tennis? Because it could serve a great virus!

Why did the virus break up with the computer? It needed more space.

Why do viruses make terrible comedians? Their jokes always infect the delivery.

A virus walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.” The virus replies, “Well, you’re not a very good host.”

What’s a virus’s favorite dance move? The micro-shake.

Why did the virus apologize to the computer? It felt buggy.